


Texting With Friends

by DittyWrites



Series: Gotham Rogues Drabbles [8]
Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, DCU, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Gen, Honestly this is just a little bit of fun, Nonsense, Texting, not intended to be overly serious tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-21
Updated: 2017-02-21
Packaged: 2018-09-25 22:54:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9850316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DittyWrites/pseuds/DittyWrites
Summary: A Gotham Rogues online group chat? Insults and shenanigans are afoot.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is pure pish but enjoy <3 it was originally a tumblr promtp for Edward Nygma - "My bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall" and this is what happened xx
> 
> Accepting prompts over at acapelladitty.tumblr.com/ask

13:41

 **PrinceOfPuzzles:** Riddle me this? What is mildly dehydrated, shaky on its feet and needs a little help recalling what exactly happened last night?

13:45

 **PrinceOfPuzzles:** ???

13:59

 **PrinceOfPuzzles:** Answer! It's me! Is anyone else here?

 **PrinceOfPuzzles:** I will never host another social event in my lair if I do not receive an answer from you fools.

 **PrinceOfPuzzles:** Don't ignore me.

14:00

 **FloraQueen:** Oh my god, stop sending notifications! Literally no one here cares about your riddles and some of us are trying to sleep. Drop dead, Nygma.

14:01

 **PrinceOfPuzzles:** I see your nasty attitude does not improve any when you are hungover. Plus, I was not even talking to you, Pamela. I was talking to the other adults.

 

**Xx_QueenHarley_xX: *added ClownPrinceOfCrime to the chat***

 

**FloraQueen: *removed ClownPrinceOfCrime from the chat***

 

 **FloraQueen:** Stop trying to add him, Harls. We all have him blocked.

14:02

 **Xx_QueenHarley_xX:** Really, Red? -pouts- I know ya don't really get on but he's still a bad guy! We should let him into the bad guy group chat!

 **PrinceOfPuzzles:** There is only room for one 'prince' in this chat. Me.

14:03

 **LegalEagle:** Ivy and Harley already share the same title, so we already have two queens. How is that fair?

14:03

 **FloraQueen:** Nice to see you're still alive, Dent. The last I saw, you were trying to hail a cab in the abandoned subway after downing what was left of the vodka. Also, we have three queens in this chat if we include the leprechaun.

14:04

 **PrinceofPuzzles:** Very droll, Pamela.

14:05

 **Xx_QueenHarley_xX:** Red stop being mean to Eddie! You know he doesn't like it :) xx

14:06

 **FloraQueen:** I could not care less, hun. He's the worst. And, Eddie, I do not get hungover. My body isn't like your pathetic meatbag and metabolises alcohol far quicker. I only drink to look sociable and to blend in.

14:07

 **Pu$$ycat:** Lucky bitch. I feel like someone used my diamond-tipped gloves to claw a hole in my head. I also lost a shoe. Hey, do you have it Ivy?

 **MasterOfFear1:** I think you will find that I have it.

 **Pu$$ycat:** Why do you have my shoe? And why do you have a number after your name? It's tacky looking.

 **MasterOfFear1:** I have it because you attempted to stab me with the heel when I recommended that you may have had enough to drink. You then snatched a bottle of wine from my hands.

14:08

 **MasterOfFear1:** And my username possesses a '1' because the name 'MasterOfFear' was already taken.

 **Pu$$ycat:** Ahahaha! First of all, that serves you right. Standing between me and my alcohol is a dangerous place to be. Second, the fact that you can't even get a good username is too funny!!

 **PrinceOfPuzzles:** -AHEM!- Can we get back to my original inquiry please? My bed has glitter in it for reasons I don't recall and I am asking for an explanation.

14:10

 **MasterOfFear1:** That was Freeze.

  
**PrinceOfPuzzles:** Wait, what? Why would Freeze have glitter in my lair to begin with? And why was he in my bed?

14:11

 **PrinceOfPuzzles:** Hello? Am I talking into the void here? Someone answer me dammit! Why was Freeze in my bed?

 **Winter74:** I was having a friendly competition with Pamela and when I lost I was required to place copious amounts of glitter in your bed as a punishment. I believe she wanted to irritate you.

 **LegalEagle:** Freeze, why do you have 74 in your name when you were born in the late 60's?

 **Winter74:** Nora was born in 74.

14:31

 **MasterOfFear1:** Moving on from that awkward silence. I can hardly see Ivy asking you to do anything as immature as that, Victor. Such childishness is beneath her.

14:32

 **Xx_QueenHarley_xX:** Hey! Lay off my girlfriend ya big loon! Pammy likes to have a little fun now and then ;)

 **FloraQueen:** Yeah. Back off, Crane. I can do without your sarcasm. When what I do is any part of your business, i'll be sure to let you know!! I'm not gonna sit here and take insults from the human rake.

14:33

 **Pu$$ycat:** Freeze, you still here? I think Crane needs your freeze gun to deal with that BURN!

 **PrinceOfPuzzles:** I am ashamed to admit that I smiled at that. Nice one, Lina.

14:35

 **MasterOfFear1:** Does anyone want to explain to Edward what he did just before passing out in his glitter bed? Should we enlighten him?

 **PrinceOfPuzzles:** What are you talking about?

 **PrinceOfPuzzles:** Hello?

 **PrinceOfPuzzles:** ...

 **PrinceOfPuzzles:** Harley, you are the least able to keep a secret! What is Crane talking about?

14:39

 **Xx_QueenHarley_xX:** I dunno, Eddie, but I think he's talking about you sending that message to Batsy.

14:40

 **PrinceOfPuzzles:** WHAT?!? WHAT MESSAGE?

 **Xx_QueenHarley_xX:** Yeah!! Just as we were leaving Dr Crane talked ya into sending Batsy your address so he could come and join the party for a bit. You were pretty wasted Mistah E so it only took about five minutes for ya to actually do it. Dr Crane is a really persuasive guy  <3 xx

 **PrinceOfPuzzles:** WHAT!?!!!!!

14:41

 **MasterOfFear1:** Burn.

 **Pu$$ycat:** Crane...that's not....that's not what 'burn' means.

 **PrinceOfPuzzles:** THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR A LINGUSTICS LESSON, SELINA! YOU FOOLS PLIED ME WITH ALCOHOL AND FORCED ME TO COMPROMISE THE INTEGRITY OF MY CURRENT LAIR IN A FOOLISH PRANK! I SWEAR THERE WILL BE RETRIBUTION FOR THIS! FOR ALL I KNOW THE BAT COULD BE ON HIS WA

14:50

 **Xx_QueenHarley_xX:** Uhh, Mistah E? Ya there? Did ya fall asleep?

 

***PrinceOfPuzzles changed his name to IAmTheKnight***

 

 **IAmTheKnight:** I'm here.

 **Xx_QueenHarley_xX:** Umm...guys? Is that Bat-brains?

 

 **FloraQueen:** *has left the chat*

 **Xx_QueenHarley_xX:**  *has left the chat*

 **LegalEagle:**  *has left the chat*

 **MasterOfFear1:**  *has left the chat*

 **Winter74:**  *has left the chat*

19:51

 **Pu$$ycat:** Hello handsome! Since everyone else is gone and I have your attention, how do you feel about buying this kitty a new pair of Jimmy Choo heels since Dr Crane has borrowed one of mine? If you transfer the money to my account I am more than happy to choose them myself x

 

 **IAmTheKnight:** *has left the chat*

 

 **Pu$$ycat:** Heh, worth a try...

 


End file.
